IT'S NOT BLOODY BRISTOL!

I don’t think I’ve ever been riled when City lose – until last Friday night.

I’d tuned in to Sky Sports 1 more in hope than expectation. After all, Chesterfield had gone seven matches without a win and didn’t look capable of causing any sort of upset whatsoever. In fact, I predicted a 4-0 home win about two minutes before kick-off.

That prediction went joyfully up in the air precisely three minutes later, along with half the contents of a can of Red Stripe I’d literally just opened, when a Chesterfield player slung a ball over from the right. Again more in hope than expectation I said to the advancing Mark Hudson (as if he could hear me) “go on, you can get on the end of that” – and he did. A minute on the clock – “1-0 to the Spireite boys!” Thirteen minutes later and I was running round the sitting room deliriously again as Wayner Allison, who I’d agreed to forget for 90 minutes had once played for the 82ers, got his head on the end of a cross to make it 2-0.

City of course brought it back to two apiece during the second half, but that only served to make Hudson’s winner – a mis-hit shot and a comedy goalkeeping moment from Steve Phillips – all the more hilarious.

So why on earth should all of this get me riled? Well, naturally it had nothing to do with the Chesterfield goals. It was in fact one of the people who was describing them that was the object of my ire.

Step forward ex-West Ham blocker and Sky co-commentator Tony Gayle.

Now I can’t remember Mr. Gayle’s exact comments during the game and I couldn’t be bothered (or rather trust myself?) to watch the re-run and write them down. However, below are a selection of things that he may well have said that should explain why I spent my Friday screaming “IT’S NOT BLOODY BRISTOL!” at the TV screen when I should have been rolling around on the settee laughing at - in no particular order - City’s play-off hopes crashing around them, how Reading ever paid half a million for Scott Murray, young “starlet” Danny Coles’ efforts to stop a 38 year old centre forward, Tommy Doherty’s beard and of course Steve Phillips’ Kajagoogoo haircut.

1 min.: “Hudson’s met it really well and stuck it past the Bristol ‘keeper!”

14 mins.: “The Bristol defence just didn’t cope with Allison”

35 mins.: “Bristol have had plenty of possession but haven’t done anything with it”

45 mins. “The Bristol fans are making their feelings clear”

88 mins.: “Oh, that’s an absolute sickener for Bristol”

89 mins: “The Bristol fans are leaving in their droves”

If there’s one thing that really riles me and most other Gasheads I speak to (and probably most City fans as well) it’s when opposition players, managers and journalists refer to us as “Bristol” rather than Rovers. The rugby team are called Bristol, not the football teams, of which there are two. Rovers and City. Yes, we both may be pretty crap, but that’s not the point. When, for example, Ferguson or Keegan take their teams to Newcastle you don’t hear the local journos coming out with stuff like “van Nistelrooy is likely to start up front for Manchester” or “with Manchester once again a shambles Keegan’s neck is likely to be on the line”. So why do it with us? We may be in the lower leagues, but it happens all to regularly and we all find it a bit bloody patronising if we’re brutally honest.

So maybe it’s time that this website – and anyone else who wants to join in – took the fight to the opposition and named and shamed those lazy arses in the football world who use the “B” word and in doing so denigrate West Country football.

A strongly worded e-mail to Sky letting them know the scale of the crime one of their employees has committed would be a start. Mr. Gayle may not be the only offender but his sheer persistence on Friday night when I should have been having a really good night was the final straw. There’s two bloody teams in Bristol, not one, and it’s about time the fans started fighting back in the face of such blatant rudeness.

So it’s Rovers, the Gas or the Pirates in future thank you very much. Not bloody Bristol!

And to all those out there who persist in saying "Bristol", gasheads.com says: FLOOK OFF!